top of page
Search

How Being Called “Lazy” Sparked My Leadership Journey





In 2011, I started piecing together what would eventually become my first book, A Female’s Guide to Understanding Leadership. I had been quietly nurturing the idea, scribbling concepts here and there, unsure of the direction or timing. But it wasn’t until I was unexpectedly pushed, not by encouragement, but by criticism, that I found the fire to finish it.


Let me share something personal.


I traveled across time zones to visit a man I was in a committed relationship with. One morning, I didn’t wake up early enough for his liking. Not to miss a meeting or deadline, simply not on his schedule. And just like that, I was labeled “lazy.”


Lazy?


That word hit me hard. Not because I believed it, but because it couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve always been someone who pushes herself, relentlessly, to build, to lead, to grow, and to serve others. In that moment, I felt disrespected. Not because I hadn’t written a book, but because I hadn’t fulfilled his personal expectation.


So I turned that moment into fuel.


That very week, I finished writing my book. I told myself, “I will show you, and more importantly, I will remind myself , who I really am.” I wasn’t just proving a point to someone else. I was reclaiming my own narrative.


Over the years, that moment became symbolic of how I operate.


Not getting a grant, whether $5,000 or $50,000, doesn’t stop me. Not landing a role I’m more than qualified for doesn’t break me. Being underestimated doesn’t diminish me. It drives me.


Every “no,” every label, every closed door, I’ve learned to turn it into my own kind of propulsion.


Because I know that as I build my business, I’m not just building for myself. I’m building for the women watching me. For the leaders I coach. For the communities I serve. For the legacy I’m creating.



Here Are a Few Lessons I’ve Learned:


  1. Let criticism clarify, not define you. Sometimes the most painful labels reveal where your strength lies.


  2. Channel frustration into focused action. Energy doesn’t have to be destructive — it can become your most powerful motivator.


  3. Every “no” can be a redirection, not a rejection. If I had been accepted into everything I applied for, I wouldn’t have created half of what I’ve built.


  4. Leadership isn’t about perfection , it’s about resilience. Your response to adversity says more about your leadership than any title ever will.



Today, A Female’s Guide to Understanding Leadership is more than a book. It’s a symbol of perseverance, personal power, and purpose. And it's just one part of the leadership development work I do through Nevalliance.


If you're a woman leader (or aspiring one) looking to build your platform, grow your confidence, and develop your leadership voice, let’s connect. Explore my leadership programs, including the Inner Circle and upcoming Leadership Labs.


And if you haven’t yet, grab a copy of A Female’s Guide to Understanding Leadership. It was born from fire, and it might just ignite something in you too.



By Dr. Neva Alexander, Global Leadership Strategist

 
 
 

Comentarios

bottom of page