Pain Is a Powerful Teacher

On March 8, 2025, during the International Women’s Conference at Hofstra University, I shared eight key lessons that shaped my leadership and personal journey. Over the next few weeks, I’ll dive deeper into each point. Today, I want to begin with the first:

"Pain is a powerful teacher."

Pain has a way of exposing truths, shifting perspectives, and sharpening our sense of purpose. While I’ve encountered pain at different points in my life, loss, disappointment, failure, one moment still lingers deeply.

I once trusted someone wholeheartedly. I believed they were in my corner, someone who celebrated my wins and would stand beside me when things got tough. But when the moment came that I needed them most, when my name was being questioned, and my integrity tested, they chose silence. Their silence was louder than any betrayal. That experience left a mark, but it also left behind wisdom.

Here are three lessons I learned from that painful season:

1. Not everyone assigned to your journey is meant to finish it with you. Sometimes we confuse time with loyalty. Just because someone has been around doesn’t mean they’re still aligned with your vision or values. Pain clarifies that.

2. Your voice is your responsibility. I learned that I must advocate for myself. Waiting for someone else to speak up on your behalf can leave you muted and unprotected. The moment I reclaimed my voice, I regained my power.

3. Growth often starts where comfort ends. That experience pushed me out of a comfortable place. It hurt—but it also grew me. It made me more discerning, stronger, and, most importantly, more intentional about who I allow into my inner circle.

Pain may not be pleasant, but it’s purposeful. It teaches what success cannot, and it prepares us for the platforms we are called to stand on.

In the weeks ahead, I’ll unpack the second point from my conference speech. Until then, remember: your pain is not in vain—it’s your preparation.